Trust

I have been a Christian since before I can remember. (I don't actually remember asking Jesus "into my heart," but I remember when I was about 5 years old at an Awana event, they had a time at the end when you could pray the prayer with them to ask Jesus to forgive your sins. I remember telling my leader that I had already asked Jesus into my heart, but I did it again that night "just in case." And she explained to me that I only needed to do it once and then I'm forgiven. I don't remember her name or what she looked like, but that instance has stuck with me.) But it can still be hard to trust in God. I have learned time and again in my 26.33 years of life that things go inifinitely better when I do trust in God, instead of trying to do things my own way. I know this. I even teach my kids in Sunday School that God has a plan, and even though we can't see all of it and we may not understand it, His plan is best. However, it is still hard to be patient and just trust. I guess it comes down to... I trust in God, I just want to trust in Him more, if that makes sense. I'm a work in progress, and thankfully, that's ok.

This weekend/ Sad/ Happy

So this weekend, Adam and I went to a marriage retreat at a camp we have been to before as chaperones/leaders for our church's high school group. It was nice to have some time just for us, but there wasn't as much "free time" as we had hoped. It was very session-heavy. We learned a lot of tools to help us fight intelligently. There were a lot of opportunities for us to practice using the tools, which was good, but we didn't really have a lot of unresolved issues, which is also good. So we did practice using them and I think when issues come up, this will help us address them before they become huge blowout problems. It just got me thinking how sad divorce is. I mean, I have always known that, as a child victim of divorce (I don't want to use "victim" to make me seem all pathetic and what-not; I just mean that literally, my parents divorced, and I was a victim, not a "participant"), but this weekend got me thinking about the husband and wife that go through a divorce. Of course it's difficult, but can you imagine if you wanted to try to make it work, but your spouse didn't? And there's nothing you can do, once it gets to the point of the other person giving up/wanting out. They don't need your permission. It doesn't seem fair, because you got into marriage together, but you can get out of it alone. It makes me really feel for the person who wants to make it work, if that is their situation. It also makes me really happy that Adam and I said before we got married (possibly before we even got engaged), that divorce is not an option. It's just not. We are together till death do us part, and thankfully he is a wonderful husband, and I know that when problems come up, we will work through them. Easy for me to say now, right? But it's true. And it's comforting to know that. I feel very God-lucky to have him, and not only that I have a caring husband, but that we both have a personal relationship with Christ, because without that, I can see how it would be so much easier to give up. I love him.